Putting the Oilers Rebuild Into Perspective

The Oilers have not played a playoff game since they lost game seven to the Carolina Hurricanes in the Stanley Cup Finals on June 19, 2006. Had the Oilers won the Cup, well, I probably would not have to feel like an ashamed fan, but alas, here we are. So, since that day, seven and a half years ago, here are ten things that have happened or could have happened in the same time span.

1. Snow White will have had the opportunity to be impregnated by and give birth to the children of all seven dwarfs.

2. Most of Europe, including the United Kingdom and infamously Italy, has gone through two recessions. One occurring from 2008 to 2009 and a "double dip recession" from 2011 to 2012.

3. If you found a nickel every day since the last playoff appearance to the date of this post, you would have $134.50, still not enough to buy one Oilers ticket closer than row 35.

4. The average American married couple would be filing papers for divorce.

5. Michael Bay has some how been allowed to produce three Transformers movie with one more coming at the end of this hockey campaign.

6. Every cell that comprised you seven years ago has been replaced by daughter cells through mitosis (urban myth).

7. An entire company started from scratch, took over the world, and then collapsed into nothingness with these devices.

8. "New Horizons," a space probe sent to study objects beyond Pluto, has flown from Earth to the middle of Uranus and Neptune's ring of orbit.

9. Your child will have learned what are birds and bees and are now learning about the "birds and the bees."

10. A high school graduate has traveled the world for a year and earned his or her masters in university.


I feel so sad...