Satireland: Book 1, Chapter 2

Social Similes: A Parody of Our World - Set 6 Volume 4
Clash of the Britains - 2010 1H

"Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking. Due to the lingering volcanic ash over Heathrow, we will be making a stop in Athens until we have been granted permission to land in London. Thank you."

The airport was crammed with thousands of passengers waiting for the volcanic ash to disappear. Lord Hayward and Robert found out that it could take days before the skies were clear enough for pilots to fly safely. And the crowd was becoming uncivilized and hostile. The two decided they would find refuge in a hotel with what little cash they had on hand and clean themselves up.

Minutes passed by and no taxis showed up. The two were later informed taxis were unavailable. They were in disbelief and decided to hitchhike down Beaverdam Road unaware that east of the airport was mainly farmland.

Nearly two hours later, exhaustion and dehydration mounted, unknowingly, they continued along the path to no where. Finally, a vehicle stopped to pick them up. To their amazement, it was Tiger Woods. He had just finished a booty call with a Greek lover.

Lord Hayward and Robert were supposed to be dropped off at the Holiday Inn on East Broad Street, but Woods crashed into a tree. The two Brits came out unscathed, but Tiger Woods was not as fortunate. After calling for emergency workers, they walked to the downtown.

After reaching the heart of the city, they saw terrifying scenes. It turned out the nation was currently on a general strike, as thousands of union workers were demonstrating against the government and it was getting ugly. Taxi drivers were included, the reason why they were unable to find a taxi at the airport.

The strikers were angry, frustrated, and hostile. They were planning a violent assault on the police and military. Lord Hayward and Robert did not want any part of this, but were unable to reverse course; they were stuck in the middle of the unrest.

A loud, booming voice announced, "Release the Kraken!" and chaos ensued. Hordes of evil minions from the depths of Hades blanketed the skies. Mortals ran in fear as Perseus appeared and fought the Kraken. It was a short-lived battle that would be deemed lacking if it had appeared in a 2010 movie remake of a classic film.


Unlike many, Lord Hayward and Robert escaped uninjured and continued to the hotel.

They would finally arrive at the Holiday Inn ready to relax with a cup of tea or whatever the British do.
"Hi, my colleague and I would like to book a hotel room for a few nights," said Lord Hayward. We do not have any Euros, but do have British Pounds."
"BRITISH POUNDS??!" hollered the receptionist in joy. "Why, due to the falling Euro, one British Pound is worth nearly 700 Euros. Would you like our royalty suite?"
"Why of course."

Finally, Lord Hayward and Robert reached the end of the journey. They had persevered through peculiar events and survived harsh conditions of Africa and Greece. Sadly, there were some casualties along the way, including a toy Yoda.