The Vampires Eternal Guild

Social Similes: A Parody of Our World - Set 6 Volume 2

G20 protesters have some stiff competition on their hands after protesters outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre (Mann's Chinese Theatre) in Hollywood became extremely violent after the premiere of "Twilight: Eclipse". The protesters claim they belong to a group called "The Vampires Eternal Guild" (VEG) which was, until today, a secret organization consisting of all registered trademark vampires of the world.

The protests started peaceful and were intended to remain that way, until another horde of vampire-likes intruded. The group called themselves the "Twilight Extremists" with hundreds of teenaged girls dressed in black and pale skin, an oasis for emo boys.

According to The Twilight Extremists website, they had malevolent intentions from the start and were not planning to leave until they fulfilled a re-enactment of all fight scenes from the Twilight Saga (two movies prior) to date against all those who opposed the movie. Now that school had ended, they were able to stay up late and complete the tasks.

Many eyewitnesses mentioned seeing Morbius, the Living Vampire, a character from Marvel Comics, and retired cereal mascot Count Chocula badly injured after leading the charge against the Extremists. Both groups lost many to injury but the VEG were revitalized by sucking the blood of the girls.

"We planned on peaceful demonstrations pointing out how vampires are unfairly portrayed in this movie series," said The Count from Sesame Street. "We believe this is one... two... three too many Twilight movies, ha ha ha." The interview was shortened due to loud thunder.

Founder and CEO of VEG, Dracula, created the organization in 1905 to ensure that continued vampire stories, and later on, movies and TV series, obeyed the Vampire Constitution. This document requires vampires to suck blood, hate garlic, and be defeated by silver bullets (bullets touched by a priest is no longer a criterion), along hundreds of other folklore symbols that once characterized vampires. However, Dracula claims that the Twilight series including the books depict vampires as attractive characters.

Dracula appeared in a press conference prior to sunrise after hearing the news. "The VEG did not approve or endorse the Twilight books, and especially not the movies. It has broken the Vampire Constitution. The only thing garlic would do to Edward Cullen is destroy his perfect breath. He does not evoke fear in the audience at all and I will never give this abomination my blessing, not to mention the acting is terrible."

Critics have claimed Twilight: Eclipse is the best movie of the series and was given positive reviews. The ongoing debate will continue for a few more decades before mortal human beings forget about this movie.